This Will Be My Final Poem...

My last words to you..
Before I go ahead and do
what I have to do.

Please read these words carefully..
I wrote this so you'd know
everything I want to tell you..
Before I have to go.

First just know it's not your fault...
There was nothing you could do...
This game of life was already decided...
I knew that I would lose.

You see, I've already made my decision...
That this is the last choice I will make...
I choose to give up trying.
I choose to give myself a break.

Nobody sees the hurt..
Nobody sees the pain..
They only see the after..
when all that's left are stains.

Nobody ever cared..
Even those who've seen the scars..
They just think they're only across my wrist..
They don't see they're on my heart.

It's hard for me to answer "What's wrong?"
When nothing is really right..
But I can't tell them about the demons
that keep me up at night.

Pulling away is my cover..
Distance is my shell..
Eventually they all just give up on me..
They leave me alone in this hell.

But then God sent you, Angel.
To make the pain go away..
But even you couldn't fix me..
I was meant to end this way.

You were there to try to help me..
You saw what no one else would..
You postponed my decision..
But you couldn't put it off for good.

Suicide was always the answer..
That much I've always known.
I always knew I wasn't strong enough
to live this life alone.

But I'm sure there will be much company
with the demons down below..
Speak of the devil- I hear them call..
I guess it's time to go.

So I'll try to be quick to end this..
I just have a few more words before I do..
You see.. I just can't keep on going..
I'm not doing this to hurt you.

But how can you expect me to stay here?
When every smile is a lie?
When all that I want to do
is close my eyes and die?

You see, I'm worthless and I'm lonely..
So I think this is for the best..
To just get my life over with
and put my soul to rest.

I'm sorry for this and everything..
I'm sorry for all I've done..
I promise I won't be in your way
after I'm finally gone.

Please don't cry, Little Angel.
Please don't let your tears fall..
I knew that I would finally give..
Once death came to call.

I'm sorry for this, Angel..
I just can't take this anymore..
By the time you read this..
I'll be waiting at hells door.

I'm not worth your tears or sorrow..
So Angel, please don't cry..
It's time for me to go now..
I'm sorry Angel.. Goodbye.