Struggling Optimism

I've hit an all time low
I am no longer a present,
beautifully wrapped with a bow.
They say now I am bland
Like I was shrunken
and canned.
But I think I am fine,
I just learned how to stay
within my mind.
They say I've changed,
that I was normal,
but then rearranged.
I still try to smile
but they say it
only happens once in a while.
I still try to laugh
but they say it
is only a half.
I still try to be bright
But they say
Something is not right.
I think I have changed,
but I have not become derranged.
I am still me,
bright
and as beautiful as a
bloomed apple tree.
I still smile,
but for them,
I go the extra mile.
I still laugh
but for them
I go one and a half.
I am bright.
And now everyting
is just right.