Talking to Caskets

The letters are scattered across the floor,
They didn’t mean what they had before;
There were creases on the paper and dust in the folds,
Read so many times but the words never grew old.
The church is dark and the pews are bare,
At the body in the casket all I can do is stare.
One last time I want to walk with you…
Make you feel the pain you’ve put me through…
So many emotions coursing through my veins,
What made you feel as if life had you in chains?
Everyone tells me, “It’s not your fault, there’s nothing you could’ve done.”
Yet I wonder if I could’ve stopped you when to your temple you put that gun.
I see you before me with your eyes closed to the world,
My last note to you around which your fingers are curled.
There are so many words that have been left unsaid,
Sentences and paragraphs swim around my head.
Standing casket-side I lay my hand on your cheek,
Stone-cold and somber you’ve never seemed so meek.
There are so many memories which I refuse to forget,
And all that you taught me—I’m forever in your debt.
I wish I could see you—not to ask why,
But only to say to you, “I love you, goodbye.”