What to Do

When you don't answer your messages,
When you ignore me,
When you make me feel left out,
It adds to the reasons why I hate you.

When you come around,
When you make me smile,
When you make me feel better,
It adds to the reasons why I love you.

When you make me want to give up,
When you make me want to add another scar to my wrist,
When you make me feel like I'm worthless,
It adds to the reasons why I should walk away.

When you make me feel like a better person,
When you make me feel like I'm on top of the world,
When you make me want to do better,
It adds to the reasons why I should stay.

The lists are tied up.
I hate you,
I love you.
You're there,
You're not.
You're my friend,
You're my worst enemy.

Sometimes I can stand you,
Sometimes I want to shake you.
Sometimes I want to listen,
Sometimes I want to scream at you.

What am I supposed to do?