Lethal Injection

Strong shudder of crazy
intentions unclear that cold night.
Gunshots from children's bedrooms,
do not awaken sleeping parents.
My brother slept holding sheets
over his innocent face,
as if he knew he would die.
My brain erased the gore,
everything after firing – fuzzy.
Gripping that pistol,
fresh out of bullets.
His wife jolted awake,
crying out for help, mercy.
I showed her the empty barrel,
spinning it with ease.
“You're worthless!”

So worthless I need to die.

Soft light from the pale sky
comes in through my shoebox window,
reminding me – time is ticking away.
Poison packed needles await
veins tight with blood.
I pace the concrete floor,
the prison of my mind is worse.
I tally days on the cover of
my blue leather journal with a dead pen,
each one engraved into my brain,
pathetic days of nothingness.
I'm a lost story in a newspaper
read months ago on a Sunday.
Sitting in the trash of some house,
forgotten by now.

I killed them,
Now he's killing me.