Scarlet Stained Wrists

i poke and prod
at my tapestry of skin
my flesh unravels it a fit of red thread
the crimson strings flow out
pooling against the whiteness of my urgent body

i can do nothing
but stare
in wonder

the feeling i earn is deliciously real

my pent up emotions rush out
flowing in a steady scarlet stream

i don't think about the stain
that will stay
when it has fled
forever marking me
as an all too willing victim

family
friends
and strangers
watch as i slowly unravel myself from the inside out

silent
judging

I'm not you're daughter anymore
or your friend
or your classmate

I'm too worn and stretched out to smile
and joke

it's hard to feel anything anymore
without longing for something cold
and deadly sharp

i want to give up

i don't want this

i hate everyone
and my hate is what makes me ugly

thick and broiling beneath my skin
a cancer
a physical reflection of whats inside

it poison's my blood
and my mind
until I'm nothing

i long for the harsh glint of a razor
and for the comfort of my room

door shut
lights off

alone

just how i like

but
with
the
same
breath
that
forces
me
to
despise
the
world
and
everyone
in
it
i
hate
me
even
more.