You, Me, Myself, and I

some days it's all about you
your corners and the dark green you paint
yet another shade of the wrong color
your deep blue eyes
and all their confusion
because i don't know what to make of
that particular void
the pulsing in the air
that i know you don't feel
but i do because
i want to touch you
at least be a smidgeon closer
the way you breathe and sometimes it's loud
and i can hear it
and it makes me want to be a part of you
every little bit of you
of the air that you breathe

some days it's all about the fear
and it's not you but me, myself, and i
that i am afraid of
afraid of more mistakes
more lost promises
another bout of
what they call depression
and i call a weight
slamming into my solar plexus,
bang bang bang
pangs of butterfly shots
slithering down the back of my stomach
fear because i could very well
scare myself to death
with all this irrational fear
monsters in the dark
faces in the light
hands when my back is turned
silence gracing my mouth
perhaps you won't like me in the end
but that is the least of my worries
next to leagues of beasts
waiting to drown me
in me, myself, and i.

don't be afraid; i have that covered.