I Refuse to Die

I don't want to die on a dark, cloudy day.
I don't want to die with these words I've never said...
words to burn the rope of the dark, deceiving way.
The rope with which the Gatsby way I was led.

I don't want to die with fear burning my heart.
I don't want to die without life's white clean new start.
Words, words, I've missed you so much...
words, words, I'm sorry, you're being painted in such modern art...

I'm sorry Rebecca, Johanna, Anna, and Natalie,
I'm sorry God, for doubting what you want me to be,
I'm afraid and lost and I extinguished my green light,
almost, but subconsciously licked my fingers first...

Go on, man, jump into the water. Let the coolness numb your pain,
let the fishes look into your eyes, the blue eyes gone black, they don't know you're insane...

I walked along the bridge, because some voices told me to,
I heard the angels singing, "If you jump, you'll see us soon."
I realize only now, I kept walking because I'm not a coward.
I've got my moxies and my girl hasn't been hit by a yellow Duesenberg custom.

Some things hit home, others hit a home run.

I pray for God's help so that I don't have to run.