You

So many years have passed,
And it's beginning to dawn on me,
That I need to face my demon,
I need to move past it,

I never moved on,
I don't have feelings for you anymore,
I don't love you like I did in the past,
But I still cling to the past,

If you came up to me,
And said you were still in love with me,
I don't know what I'd do,
I'd be at a loss for words,

It's pathetic I know,
A summer time child-hood love,
That didn't last a year,
That ended years and years ago,

But you ruined me,
You molded me into this,
I still remember everything that happened,
Beginning to end,

The poem I sent to start it all,
How I was dying on the inside,
Because I liked you so damn much,
And that guy swept you up so easily,

I remember that night I was dating someone else,
It was you and me under the moonlight,
I saw a shooting star,
And we spun in the grass holding hands,

You told me about your pain,
And how I tried to show my sympathy,
And tried to find some empathy,
You confided your life into my innocent, virgin, mind,

I was introduced into the black of reality,
And I've been stuck and hiding there,
Ever since I met you,
And I saw what the world is capable of,

I remember the pain and suffering,
You endured,
And found pain in my own life,
And I started finding unsuitable outlets,

I cut myself,
Cause I saw the cuts all over your legs,
I broke down so many times,
Cause I saw you break in front of my eyes,

I remember your laugh,
And awkward, clumsy, walk,
I remember your quirky smile,
And how'd you squeak when your voice got too high,

I remember how when you wouldn't get your way,
Or you just felt down with life,
You'd sit right in the middle of the street,
And wait for a car,

I was so caught up in you,
I lost track of everything else,
My grades suffered,
And my mind was filled with you,

You introduced me into everything I love now,
The music,
The poetry,
The lust for a temporary release,

I can never handle myself,
And I'll never know who I am,
Because I'm stuck of what was,
And I can't move past this,

When I woke up 6 in the morning,
And walked a little more than a mile,
To show up at your bedroom window,
And hop in and spend the day with you,

I felt happiness I never felt before,
I was so happy when I was with you,
And so fucking upset when I wasn't,
I felt worse then words could describe,

You gave me butterflies,
So intense,
I never felt before,
I felt like I was floating,

I remember hide and seek with our friends,
And we'd hide, you and I,
And we'd cuddle and kiss,
And I'd remember your perfect sparkling gray eyes,

I remember when we joked around,
Doing silly little things,
Like talk in Spanish,
When we never knew a lick of it,

Your kisses are so soft,
And they stole the breath from my lungs,
I remember at first I was so timid,
I gave little pet kisses that made my heart flutter,

I'll never forget those days,
All that time we spent together,
The tears and blood I shed over you,
I wish things could have been different,

Fate decided we weren't for each other,
And nothing in my life says to try to get you back
I know I don't love you,
Why do I even care anymore,

I don't know why I think of you daily,
Why the past still haunts my mind,
And why I can never find peace in myself,
I believe this has something to do with all that,

But I haven't found anyone,
That made me feel like you did,
And trust me, as god as my witness,
I've looked far and wide,

I guess I wasn't made for happiness,
And you were,
I was just a pawn in your life,
To be thrown aside and sink into oblivion,

I miss happiness,
Love and affection,
And how I used to feel,
When I was with you those bright, sunny days,

But I have hope in my heart,
That one day someone somewhere,
Will make me feel the way you did,
And I'll never let that go,
I can't wait to never be lost again.