Apologies

He started popping them pills
saying his goodbyes
I couldent save him
for the feeling he felt inside
As he hid himself in a shallow disguise
for the tears he shed and cried
The life he denied till his last breath
considering death so he could finally rest
Now this guiltiness is keeping me up
i cant settle for less
I cant sleep i cant eat
Have to save you to take the pain off my chest
nightmares starting to creep
And the depression is starting to eat
I just take a seat head over my knees
Praying to god please
Asking him why..
feels like you telling me lies
He always said it was do or die
its for the best
now i couldnt believe you considered suicide
its too late
The lord took your soul away
I was the last one you spoke to
How could you leave me like this
i needed you to
Now i know my one single wish
i wish i could of save you...
now this is for someone i lost
through boundary lines ive crossed
my apologies
for all my mistakes
my apologies
and i know what it takes
my apologies must have seemed so fake
my apologies
i got these vicious feelings to break...
listen i know the pain i put you through
but know the same pain you had i felt it too
i know that your gone
i know that im wrong
maybe my words of this song
can let you see the pain inside of me
so this pain wont stay for so long
for these people ive scared
what reason i have to take it so far?
i know what i have to say
but for days and days
i turn my back and keep walking away
from these words i put on delay
this is my apology
there was no reason to be
an enemy through your eyes
through lies you can easily see
an accomplisment you can easily achieve
but i never lied to you its that you couldnt believe
this is the road i took
so selfish and cold i looked
from the knife to the flag
the responsibility i dragged
the life that i grabbed
The pain that i have
you dont understand what ive been through
with friends dieing every month as i stood by you
maybe at that time i could of saved them too
you not having a clue
trying to hide my fear
the pain drops every night in a form of a tear
i couldnt believe i lost you
and now i might lose my mom too
and friends committing sucide to
the depression and aggression is how they left through
and all this pain is what i went through alone
only my evil is carved in stone through all memories
so when i leave this world all i can leave is
My apologies