Pain of the Past

So here's the bottom line
No where to run
No room to whine

I don't feel human here
I don't feel my heart beating,
I can't shed a tear,
I can't stop the bleeding.

Many years have I been this way
Caging in all the pain
So far I feel no brighter
As I'm standing in the rain

How can I feel like I did long ago
How can I see all but grey
Can I loosen the grip of the dead
That's pulling my mind away

You'd think death would set me free
But I faced death and came back
So I guess I sail the storm like the sea
And pray for the sanity I lack

Sometimes when I can at last
I feel my heart ache
As the pain of the past
Is stirring in my wake

I have no choice but to push on
And when the monsters call out
I have to bring them along
_
Because it seems like I can't run
And I can't hide anywhere
Because where ever that I go
The pain of the past is there.