What Could Have Been?

I glance while you're not looking
To suffice me for a while
Your brown eyes, your hair,
Your smile
Beauty tainted by your ugly

I hate to hate you
But this is what it's come to
Butterflies have died but
I still love you
But you were never mine to miss

I silence my senses, except to your voice
You laugh, and I'm taken back 18 months
We walk together
Into a dead end road