Not the Key

It gets harder to keep my feelings from you,
I forfeited the key to my heart.
Not that I’m head over heels anymore,
At least, not like I was at the start.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I’ve left you behind.
No, you still take my breath away.
Yet, I’m getting better without you, it seems,
Growing stronger day by day.

But that doesn’t mean that you get a free pass
To see what’s going on in my head.
So ‘though I’d truly like to be honest out here,
I’ll keep thoughts to myself instead.

Still I wonder sometimes, could I be brave?
Would it grant me the chance I desire?
Or have I waited too long, let too much slip away,
Put out every last coal from our fire?

I like to pretend that you’ll be mine again,
And that this time we’ll get it all right.
We’ll avoid all mixed signals, rumors, and doubts.
Show our fears in the day’s healing light.

Even as I type, I lose sense of myself.
Words burst forth like birds just broken free.
While my words are the key to my heart, dearest love,
It seems these aren’t the key to me.