I'm Trying to be Better

i'm trying to be better,
not so chaotic,
less volatile.
i wasn't always like this,
so violently empty.
it's hard to love me,
with my harsh words
like acid on your flesh.
you'll remember me,
and my heavy heart,
long after i've left.
you'll dream about me,
when you're older,
and wonder how
you could have loved me.