Dead

sometimes i wonder what life would be like
if you didn't throw me away like the worthless cigarette ashes i smoked
i would be strong and put together
not weak, alone and struggling

sometimes i wonder what it would be like if i had fell i love with someone else
it would be a mere distraction to shoo me away
i would act like i was okay and pretend you never crossed my mind
it would be fake like the "love" you gave to me

i sometimes wonder what it would be like to die without you
and i pondered it for weeks
and then i had realized
that i am already dead

(SC)