#126 Not What I Wanted

I never wanted to lose you. I never wanted to stop being friends. I never wanted to be your bully. It didn't work out once again. I never wanted to be your bully, I never wanted it to end this way. What once was ours lies in ruins and I think of it almost everyday. When I just hear your name it burns me. It kills to know what I did. I wish I could take it all back I wish it wasn't like this. I miss talking to you on the phone. I miss spending time with you alone. I miss so much about you yet, I can never know why I would want all that and just to be yours and yours alone. This is not what I wanted. Now, all I want to do is just grovel at your feet and beg for forgiveness. But why should you give it to me? It's all my fault we're in this. I never meant to hurt you to begin with I only wanted to let of some steam. I never wanted to stab you in the back, the monster is not quite what she seems. if only you'd talk to me then maybe we'd understand..why I can't be your girl and you can never be my man.