Loneliness

it starts in the center of my chest
and spreads up through my skull
until it chokes my eyes and they bulge from my head.
rushes down my stomach and gives me butterflies,
lifts my hips up.
my arms and hands and legs and feet feel weightless,
suspended in the air.
my mouth is open trying so hard to suck in a breath.
i reach out my hand, fingers spread
and attempt to run them through his hair
but he's invisible, and i don't deserve to exist.