Alright, Time to Let It Go

i’m sitting here between five and six
a.m.
imagining how fucked you looked
without the carves of acrylic make up
to make you more a threat than you really
were (are).

I think back to tuesday
and how we sat in the backseats
of
my car and had talks
about James leaving you.

I can’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy it
just a little bit to know that you felt exactly,
if not worse than, what I felt when you
denied me my chance
of something with you,
denied me as if you
knew exactly what would happen if you
let me in for only a minute,
let alone
a month, a year,
a decade -
can we even last the first 24 hours?

anyways,
i’m sitting here between five and
six AM
and the sounds of the joggers outside at
6:22AM and the feel of your warm
fingers interlocking with mine
as our breathe
fogs the car windows
replays loudly in
the back of my mind.

I just wish you wouldn’t
put me in the back of your
heart as
if the only thing
I result to is a friend to
get your
fix toward.

anyhow, it’s almost 6 AM
and my cat purrs with the passion of
every broken
heart in this city.

she beckons me
and I shall feed her with a
hand that once
was fed by yours.