Dear Mom

You say it's unconditional,
though I sign this to you now
"I agree to the terms and conditions"
in the hopes of finding a parent's love.

I remember the days
where you'd read me
like an open book
You'd scan through the pages
and say
"I believe in you, I'm proud"

Those are the days we left behind,
on mother's day to be exact.
Maybe something died that day,
maybe the bond you and I once had.

I'm almost eighteen now, mommy
but why do I feel so small?
I still have so many questions
and here's one to you now...

Why did you stop loving
when I was so alone?

Why was I all alone
when my world came crashing down?
I needed a parent's love
but you were long gone,
so alone I was
when it crushed me to the ground.

I'm laying deep down and buried now,
six feet under to be exact.
Are you proud of my accomplishment,
in taking my own life?

I did it for you, dearest mommy,
for you and no one else.
I hope you smile now
and think "I believed in you, I'm proud"