Alone

I sit at home in an empty room, waiting to be saved from myself.
The thoughts creep in, taunting me, calling to my insecurities.
They start off small, but begin to grow.
Getting larger and larger, louder and louder until they're screaming, shouting.
I can no longer pretend they aren't there.
They are the only thing present in my mind.
Telling me, I'm not good enough, no one truly cares.
Telling me how I'm nothing but a worthless, pathetic excuse for a human.
They all just feel bad for me, no one will ever truly want such an ugly, fat person.
They only pretend, the only reason they are here is to make fun of me .
I'm just one big joke.
It's so hard to block them out, I want to, but they just keep coming back.
Each time they are louder and stronger, they make me believe.
The feelings that I hold begin to die, slowly, falling, one by one.
Until I feel nothing.
There's no sign of hope, no coming back.
Everything's numb, dead, or broken.
I have no where to turn, no one to tell.
The only escape I have is pain, I inflict pain so I know I'm not dead.
This is not a nightmare, it's reality.
I'm seen, as a happy person.
They don't try and look beyond the outside.
I'm alone, in the dark, looking for a way out with none I can find.