Forget the Pain

I always think about dying
until I realize I have no reason
to die.

Im stuck in the middle
between life or death
and I feel as if
it is tearing me apart.

It feels as if the only reason to live
is for my family.
They'd be devastated
if I had died.

But then again,
I don't want to be stuck
in a world where I am unhappy.

But if it is for my family,
I guess I will choose to be unhappy,
for I could not bring them
any more pain than I have cause.

Even though life hurts,
I must hang in there
for the sake of the people who love me.

No matter how much it hurts,
forget the pain and try again.

I must forget the pain to survive,
numb it
to where I don't feel,
scream
at the thoughts in my head.

I won't let them take over.
I refuse to sink
and I have to keep trying.

Please don't give up tonight.
I still have so much to live for,
so much to do
to help myself and my family.

I just need
to be happy.