Just a Kiss..?

I lay beside you,
my head against your chest.
I can hear your heart beating,
keeping time with mine.
I feel the warmth of your breath
against my neck.
Against my cheek.
My eyes were closed.
Were yours?
I feel your breath still,
except it's no longer on my cheek.
It's against my lips.
Soft at first.
Warm.
So light that I question if you're really there.
Smooth.
Then it gets a little stronger.
Not a lot, just enough.
Your arms are wrapped around me,
your hands strong against my back.
I couldn't move even if I wanted to.
Did I want to?
Do I want to?
Your lips linger, against mine.
Mine stay put, too.
Is this right?
I don't know.
It's been weeks since I've felt..
I've been numb for months.
Suddenly I can feel again.
I can feel this.
But is it right?
I lean back slightly.
Footsteps on the stairs.
You pull away, and return to the couch.
I jump up from our spot on the matress.
I run up the stairs.
I fly passed them all.
They look at me,
their stares questioning me.
I run out of the house.
I climb up to the roof.
I light up and lay back,
I watch the sky.
Look, a shooting star.
I blow smoke up to the darkness.
It's then I realize I'm crying.
Tears fall from my eyes.
Down my cheeks.
I can't stop my mind.
It's running circles,
around, and around.
I cry more.
What do I do?
Can I really move on?
I want to..
but can I?
I still feel the pain from the past..
the hurt from the words..
but it's getting a little easier to deal with.
But can I try again?
I don't want to hurt you..
but I don't want to hurt me, either.
What now?
What next?
Was is something?
or just a kiss?