Tainted Reality

I am a fish swimming
everything is spinning as if I'm turning in fast circles.
my lips feel swollen
my head is spinning
my stomach feels as if it is going to explode
it's a negative thought overload
i thought i was stronger
my mind says not much longer
in and out of consciousness
i pick up on a part of a conversation
something about "no offense but i haven't known you long enough"
my mind runs to the thoughts of:
your done
your out of here
not responsible enough
no more watching the kids
get out of my house
your to serious
please don't come around anymore
i feel nauseous
i fade out

there are lots of "she's" being thrown around.
everything is better with my eyes closed.
i have tot give in...
i have to trust them.