Used To Be

It used to be cute
smiling at a screen
at what you wrote on Facebook,
all your sweet absolute nothings;
everyone liked it,
everyone smiled at it,
I ended up hating it

It used to be cute
getting phone calls every night,
for hours at a time,
tangled all up in the phone line,
until you called me crying,
until you called me screaming,
until you called the dial tone

It used to be cute
taking you on little adventures
with my friends all the time;
we'd hold hands and kiss;
then they left me out of adventures
then they left me out of conversations
then I left you

It used to be cute
seeing jealousy spread down your cheeks
when I talked to guys,
and I'd say 'I like you better';
you didn't believe that
you didn't let me talk to boys
you didn't deserve me

It used to be cute
hearing you call me 'yours'
and the 'forever and evers'
until forever seemed like impending hell,
and then I fell apart
and then I told you to go
and then, finally,
I picked myself up