I Drag This Blade

I slice my wrists for every time you lied
...
and for every time I believed.

I slice my wrists for every time you used me
...
and for every time I let you.

I slice my wrists for every time you took from me
...
and for every time I gave.

I slice my wrists for every time you degraded me. Made me the scum of the earth
...
and for every time it made me smile.

I drag this goddamn blade across my fucking wrists for everything you've ever done to me
.
and that I stayed and took it.

I shove this finger down my throat for every time you called me worthless
...
and for every time I agreed.

I shove this finger down my throat for every time you called me fat. ugly. a slut.
...
and for the times you never called me beautiful.

I shove this finger down my throat for every time we fucked
...
and for the times it was involuntary.

I puke my fucking guts out for every time you shoved her in my face
...
and for the times I helped you turn around and betray her.

I drag this blade across my wrists for answers.
Answers to questions better off forgotten.
I drag this blade across my skin to pull me into a slumber.
A peaceful slumber.
With answers.
And no more pain.

This is my goodbye.