So Long Ago
so long ago
i cut my wrists
but i still miss
the sound of your laugh
the sight of your face
they way you smiled
how it was a waste
i am still broken
here on the floor
the one that you died on
only wanting more
love from the ones
you loved so dearly
and now all the reasons
are showing up clearly
i am already dead
but how can i want
what i already have
feeling so lost
laying here on your floor
your death was the cost
of just wanting more
and i pity you
i honestly do
yet i still admire you
for going through
with the plan to escape
and never come back
to the one place you know
the one place you left
i cry tears of blood
i helped you with everything
it wasn't enough
and now you are dead
all because of me
and i want you to know
i am so sorry
i shouldn't have said
those meaningless words
that meant everything to you
and made you hurt
to the point of breaking
and putting a gun
up to your temple
and saying you're done
i cut my wrists
but i still miss
the sound of your laugh
the sight of your face
they way you smiled
how it was a waste
i am still broken
here on the floor
the one that you died on
only wanting more
love from the ones
you loved so dearly
and now all the reasons
are showing up clearly
i am already dead
but how can i want
what i already have
feeling so lost
laying here on your floor
your death was the cost
of just wanting more
and i pity you
i honestly do
yet i still admire you
for going through
with the plan to escape
and never come back
to the one place you know
the one place you left
i cry tears of blood
i helped you with everything
it wasn't enough
and now you are dead
all because of me
and i want you to know
i am so sorry
i shouldn't have said
those meaningless words
that meant everything to you
and made you hurt
to the point of breaking
and putting a gun
up to your temple
and saying you're done
♠ ♠ ♠
his name was Jakob and we were friends since we were about 2 years old. him and i got into an argument and i ended up yelling out 'go kill yourself, nobody wants you anymore. you're washed up and worthless' he ran off crying. later that night, i walked into his room (we were having a sleepover) to check on him, and when i opened the door i saw him with a shotgun in hand. he looked up at me with a tear staind face and said 'you were right'. then everything went red, and i was in complete shock. i didn't cry, or scream. i only stood there, gazing at the dead boy in front of me, remembering all the things we did together, and realizing he was gone now. his brother Justen heard the noise of the gun and came running in. when he saw his brother, he broke down and ran to his body. he stopped crying for a brief second and looked at the gun on the floor next to Jakob. he put it in his mouth and then he was gone too. it has been a difficult two years since then, and i still remember them as they were that day, and all the days before. i still see red, and feel guilt. i have written way too many poems for them, so i will post them from now on....thank you for reading~ CHARLIE