Insomnia

1 a.m.
and the feeling of your sweater
pressed against my back
is keeping me awake again.

2 a.m.
and my brain won’t stop wondering
how different things would be
if you were lying next to me.

3 a.m.
and suddenly the tears come
in waves that beat against my body
drowning me with their relentlessness.

4 a.m.
and i finally start to tire
thinking maybe, just maybe
i might actually sleep tonight.

7 a.m.
and i awake with a start
for one precious moment
believing you’re still here.

you’re never here.