What This Is?

The words just aren't enough
and
you'll lose your mind.
If I ever had a shred of courage
I would use it now,
because I want you to know,
you were more than I thought.
More than I meant it to be.
Another weakness of mine,
with my tendency to see beyond the sensible and into the incredible.
I needed you.
I want you more than I can admit,
sneakily drinking in
glimpses of your figure,
laughing at your words,
and enjoying every minute of time spent nearby.
It feels like an elaborate trick,
to keep me on my toes,
this distance between us.
I can't pin the moment I felt it,
but something just clicked.
And I don't want this to end.
I don't want you to go.
I missed this
and yet all the while,
I don't even really understand
what
"this"
is.