Artistic Temperament

I tried not to let it happen
It happened all the same
Trapped in my own within
I am stuck unhappily in time
Not a time others are in
( I am still back in the Nineteen-Fifties )
When Jazz was King
When oil paints on canvas
and being ‘Cool, was everything
I suspect... I know why I am sad
I never had that much, but it was all that I had
So I leaned on it, as one leans on a cane
It slowed me down and made me kinda vain
Now I'm just a caricature of who I wanted to be
It's too late to change so I might as well
Just be who I became.