Drunken Ramblings

I am drunk
On sadness
And need
And cheap rum from a plastic bottle.

And thoughts of you spin
Around in my muddled brain
Taunting and teasing
With what could have been.

And right now,
I need something more
Than those thoughts,
And this rum,
And the lies that spill from the mouths of survivors

“it will get better”
“it will get easier”
“you will be okay”

But it won’t get better.
And it won’t get easier.
And I will never be okay.

So,
I find solace
In the burning slide
Of liquor down my throat,
And smoke in my lungs
Knowing that
Without you here
I am empty.

And things will never be the same.