Meditation
When the window closes and the ringing in my ears partake, I lean back in my chair and crack the fingers.
Close my eyes and focus on the parts of me all tense.
It is my back. It is my shoulders. I feel them drop in relief.
Sometimes it is these little things that need my attention. Just as a baby is compared to a man.
They like to think a man is more important than a fetus.
Shows what they know, eh?
The ringing in my ears continues.
It's always so soothing, to have not a sound in the house but for the echoing of the ear drums.
And then I focus in upon the body some more. Focus on the fact that I am breathing and that there is sound.
The unsteady in and out of my airways. The swallowing of my throat now that I am suddenly aware of my saliva.
I drop the throat in relaxation and breath in steadily through the nose, and out through the mouth.
My ears hungrily take in the inviting sounds.
Now, I am in that state before the haze. My thoughts are still scrambled.
Yet the breathing helps. And the tension is gone from my upper back.
I have forgotten the eyes. They are strained, for I often think because they are closed they are relaxed, when that is not the case.
A slow open and then gentle closure of the lids corrects the strain.
And still I am breathing ever so smoothly.
Time is slowing, and I can now see the blackness of nothing, both in my vision and mind, yet still a few thoughts buzz in and out.
This is always the hardest part; tuning it all out.
I breathe some more and focus on the darkness. It takes an awful lot of time.
Then, it hits! A magnetic buzz of absolutely nothing in the brain.
Finally, I have relaxed.
Close my eyes and focus on the parts of me all tense.
It is my back. It is my shoulders. I feel them drop in relief.
Sometimes it is these little things that need my attention. Just as a baby is compared to a man.
They like to think a man is more important than a fetus.
Shows what they know, eh?
The ringing in my ears continues.
It's always so soothing, to have not a sound in the house but for the echoing of the ear drums.
And then I focus in upon the body some more. Focus on the fact that I am breathing and that there is sound.
The unsteady in and out of my airways. The swallowing of my throat now that I am suddenly aware of my saliva.
I drop the throat in relaxation and breath in steadily through the nose, and out through the mouth.
My ears hungrily take in the inviting sounds.
Now, I am in that state before the haze. My thoughts are still scrambled.
Yet the breathing helps. And the tension is gone from my upper back.
I have forgotten the eyes. They are strained, for I often think because they are closed they are relaxed, when that is not the case.
A slow open and then gentle closure of the lids corrects the strain.
And still I am breathing ever so smoothly.
Time is slowing, and I can now see the blackness of nothing, both in my vision and mind, yet still a few thoughts buzz in and out.
This is always the hardest part; tuning it all out.
I breathe some more and focus on the darkness. It takes an awful lot of time.
Then, it hits! A magnetic buzz of absolutely nothing in the brain.
Finally, I have relaxed.