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Smiley is what they call me.
Though they don’t know how I can be
Somewhere deep inside I’m a tiger
At times I can be hyper
Somewhere deep insider I’m daring
At times I can forget about caring
An object not in my heart. But is my heart.
You have to be smart to be apart,
To understand where
I stand
To find the object fix the darkness, my old life of grey
And its endless cycles that replays
A mystery that will never be found
A mystery that will never be drowned
Stupid, ugly, freak and fat. Desperate.
Names that I get called but they don’t affect.
Not a single word on my face.
It all something I’ve learned to pace
The words don’t shatter
It’s all the actions I’ve taken that matter
I love the sound of rain
It takes away my pain
It makes me forget
And makes me neglect
The horrible sounds of arguing and fighting
It lets me start with my writing
I love the smell of rain
It makes me feel insane
Covering up the smell of grass
It’s worth it for the little time it lasts
Just as the clouds clear
I forget about my fear
Just as the moon starts to rise
I remember all the things despise
If my hands could speak, what would they say?
Remember there’s always another day.
My hands to also say not to break
And only do what I can take.
A memory in the back of my head
Reminding me what could lie ahead
If I’m not thoughtful and don’t linger
I could lose my dream of becoming a singer
My mommy would always say
“Don’t worry one day; you’ll have your way”