Flowers
during our entire relationship,
I was messing up.
I didn't know what I was doing,
and I sure as hell didn't know how to do it.
I didn't understand
what was going on
inside my body.
I didn't understand the feelings
that were surfacing just below
the synopses of my throat.
I didn't know the connection
two people could possess,
or how they could create
such a beautiful thing.
Mostly, though,
I was afraid I would kill it.
Like forgetting to water the flowers
even though you wrote it down
in twenty-seven different places.
I didn't realize I wasn't that careless.
I would be the one to over-water,
not sure when was enough
or if it was satisfied,
should I just come back later?
I was the one to drown ours.
I was messing up.
I didn't know what I was doing,
and I sure as hell didn't know how to do it.
I didn't understand
what was going on
inside my body.
I didn't understand the feelings
that were surfacing just below
the synopses of my throat.
I didn't know the connection
two people could possess,
or how they could create
such a beautiful thing.
Mostly, though,
I was afraid I would kill it.
Like forgetting to water the flowers
even though you wrote it down
in twenty-seven different places.
I didn't realize I wasn't that careless.
I would be the one to over-water,
not sure when was enough
or if it was satisfied,
should I just come back later?
I was the one to drown ours.