Flowers

during our entire relationship,
I was messing up.

I didn't know what I was doing,
and I sure as hell didn't know how to do it.

I didn't understand
what was going on
inside my body.

I didn't understand the feelings
that were surfacing just below
the synopses of my throat.

I didn't know the connection
two people could possess,
or how they could create
such a beautiful thing.

Mostly, though,
I was afraid I would kill it.

Like forgetting to water the flowers
even though you wrote it down
in twenty-seven different places.

I didn't realize I wasn't that careless.

I would be the one to over-water,
not sure when was enough
or if it was satisfied,
should I just come back later?

I was the one to drown ours.