Painful Memories

Today I sat and thought of you,
Like I most often do.
Wondering where time went,
and why I'm here.

I quietly watch the sunrise,
Through the smoke of my cigarette.
Listening to the birds' morning songs,
And the trees swaying in the soft breeze.

It is peaceful until a slight anomaly,
A rebel epiphany; I'm alone.
Normally this would comfort me,
Solitary was my friend.

Now the beautiful sounds fade,
And are now replaced by something even more beautiful.
I must sit through the agony and pain,
Of your voice.

The delicate tone and slight accent,
That although I teased you about, I loved.
Like when you got excited and spoke too fast,
Your words got mumbled with a rich french accent.

Your voice fades away,
And the sound of your laughter fills the void.
The radiant giggle that melted my heart,
But took the time to rebuild it.

My eyes slowly shut,
And still I think about you.
My dreams about you,
Becoming increasingly prominent.

I can see you clearly now,
Peering over me while my head is on your lap.
You're staring, piercing me deep,
With those beautiful brown eyes I fell for long ago.

Then there it is,
A sight I would wait an eternity to see.
A sight so wonderful and demanding to see,
That the whole world would stop witness; your smile.

I love the way your lips curled,
Just before the parting of the lips.
The way your head tilted back then fell forward,
As if the no one could see you.

Then I wake up,
The moon and stars high in the sky.
The crickets joyfully singing into the night,
As I sit and wait for the sunrise.

Today I sat and thought of you,
Like I most often do.
Wondering where the time went,
And why I'm here.
...
And why you're not.