Beauty

Why am I so gullible & mentally impaired? You got me to believe you cared, then you left me alone & scared. "I don't want to see you ever" they said, well please don't leave me alone again. Cause I can't go on, searching for someone that cares, only finding dead ends. & now I remember how you said you'd hold my hand through this all, you broke down my walls, & left me alone to clean up the mess. Alone & scared I'll try to use a razor blade to suppress the panic attack. All the things lovable are all the things that I lack. I'm bleeding, & I'm scarring, I'm starving & I'm barfing, trying to be beautiful. Searching for someone to love me, you said I'd need to be skinny, I'd need to be pretty, we'll I'm trying my hardest not to be me, & still, no one sees,
beauty.