Goodbyes and Last Kisses

You know I make myself so sad,
I worry myself sick
listening to The Wonder Years and wondering who you're sleeping with
and all my friends think I'm crazy because I swear I'm over you
but they hear your name fall from my mouth ten times daily, at least.
"Just let him go!" They say,
like its really that easy.
And maybe it is.
Maybe I'm just overthinking it.
But when I fall asleep, I swear I can see your eyes on mine,
but when i wake up,
I can never quite recall their color-
that unique shade where green meets blue.
I come close, but can't quite reach it.
And I remember we made out on my porch to blink-182
and the way you looked at me that day,
like you knew it was the last time you'd kiss me.
Like you knew it was going to be over before our second chance began,
like you knew already what your decision would be.
And you kissed me like I was air, and you were suffocating,
whispered "I love you, forgive me"
against my lips.
But never said "I love you" again.
I can almost feel your mouth on mine
desperate and heartbroken and scared
and how I kissed you back with the same passion,
not knowing.
We were never meant to be,
but the love was there. I felt it.
I saw it in your eyes.
Now I'm not ready to say goodbye
I'm not ready to let go.
But if I survived that goodbye,
if I survived that last kiss...
I can survive this. I can survive anything.