Welcome to the Bottom of Things

I have become Jesus, standing
On the ocean, rising and
Falling with each passing wave.
Almost omnipotent, almost
Able to view the thoughts that
Trouble me. Am I ready to
Let go of my powers and dive
Into my subconscious?
Am I ready to
Relinquish
All control and face all that
Most deeply unsettles me?

I can sense a coming storm.
I taste its electricity on my tongue.
I'm not quite sure if
I am ready for it, but I
Know eventually I must
Grit my teeth and
Plow through it. I forget that I am
Jesus; I always forget. Instead,
I become a wall, the very
Wall that has been holding me back.

My mind has been on vacation.
It saw the impending gloom that
I, on this ocean, now face.
Away it ran, inland, away
From the sea.
Away from me.
I abandoned myself.
I left myself hanging out to dry,
Taking no heed of the storm.
Away I ran, like a child,
Leaving myself without
Focus or purpose.
There is no path from here,
Instead only
Disharmony and blindly rushing
Through the tunnels of my mind.
I keep hoping to
See that light at the end, but
Alas, I am not meant to be
Enlightened, and the farther I
Run, the less sure I am that
It is to come.