I Am Lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
Where is my compass?
Where is north and where is south?
I can go up or I can go down
The missing pieces somehow connect
There must be a reason why
I can't manage to tie my own not
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
All I want is my dad
The universe says that is too much to ask
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
WHY??????????????????
You sour old bastard tell me!!!
Why am I so different?
First I couldn't put a lid on the bottle
Now the damn thing is locked in a safe
Protected by everything I over process in my damn mind
I want my answers
Its time I get them
17 is a strong age
I need to get on with it and turn the page
I am so angry
I am so angry
I AM SO ANGRY
I CAN'T RELAX
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
Is my dad connected to this chain lock around my soul that even I can't figure out the fucking combination to?
I think he is, I know he is
I am quiet because I think
Perhaps eventually i should take a small drink
Lighten up a bit
But no, of course not that would require self control to let go
For I'm twenty steps ahead
Drowning in a pool of anxiety and stress, in the here and now and even in 20 minutes from now
And I can't figure out how to swim to the surface
Afraid of what will happen when I breathe the new air up top
So how should I go about my life?
Living in fear? Staying home writing poems and watching lord of the rings for the 108th time crying during the same fucking scenes?
Is that really what I want?
FUCK NO
I'm afraid that I wont ever resurface
I won't make it
I'll never let go, I'll never truly be able to confront my greatest challenges
I'm afraid I will never be in a relationship
I'm afraid I'll always be afraid to take life to the next level
I'm afraid I'll never overcome my fear of sex
I'm afraid of a lot of things
I want to go back to the old days
Where we were always cheering
I just want to go back
I want to have my dad back
But I can't
I can't
I never will be able to
I have to accept that
I need to come to peace
I need to relax
I need to let down my guard
I need to unlock the chain around my soul
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
I am lost
Where is my compass?
Where is north and where is south?
I can go up or I can go down
The missing pieces somehow connect
There must be a reason why
I can't manage to tie my own not
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
I want my dad
All I want is my dad
The universe says that is too much to ask
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
WHY??????????????????
You sour old bastard tell me!!!
Why am I so different?
First I couldn't put a lid on the bottle
Now the damn thing is locked in a safe
Protected by everything I over process in my damn mind
I want my answers
Its time I get them
17 is a strong age
I need to get on with it and turn the page
I am so angry
I am so angry
I AM SO ANGRY
I CAN'T RELAX
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
I CAN'T
Is my dad connected to this chain lock around my soul that even I can't figure out the fucking combination to?
I think he is, I know he is
I am quiet because I think
Perhaps eventually i should take a small drink
Lighten up a bit
But no, of course not that would require self control to let go
For I'm twenty steps ahead
Drowning in a pool of anxiety and stress, in the here and now and even in 20 minutes from now
And I can't figure out how to swim to the surface
Afraid of what will happen when I breathe the new air up top
So how should I go about my life?
Living in fear? Staying home writing poems and watching lord of the rings for the 108th time crying during the same fucking scenes?
Is that really what I want?
FUCK NO
I'm afraid that I wont ever resurface
I won't make it
I'll never let go, I'll never truly be able to confront my greatest challenges
I'm afraid I will never be in a relationship
I'm afraid I'll always be afraid to take life to the next level
I'm afraid I'll never overcome my fear of sex
I'm afraid of a lot of things
I want to go back to the old days
Where we were always cheering
I just want to go back
I want to have my dad back
But I can't
I can't
I never will be able to
I have to accept that
I need to come to peace
I need to relax
I need to let down my guard
I need to unlock the chain around my soul
♠ ♠ ♠
I wrote this one night when I had a lot of issues that I couldn't solve and a lot of memories that I don't have. I wanted to scream, I repeat so many lines in this poem because that's just how much I felt it.