I Cannot Write About Anything At All

And I can't write about love
because I'm not sure I've experienced it.
I loved you more than
anything,
but I don't think I was in love with you.
I read the romanticized versions
of other people's love songs
and I don't think of you.
I don't think of anyone.

And I can't write about happiness
because I haven't yet been truly happy.
I know how to be
content,
But I don't enjoy the world the way others do.
Rainy days make me smile
But I'm not sure I'm happy.
I'm not sure what happy is.

And I can't write about life
because I don't quite know what it is.
I'm alive, clinically
living,
but I don't think this can be considered a life.
If I haven't yet loved
and I'm not yet happy,
I cannot yet write on life.