Smoke

Click, a sharp flame arises from the lighter
I inhale, and sweet toxic smoke begins to fill my lungs
A numb begins to take over my body
I begin to get dizzy, but I like it because I can't remember why I even did this in the first place

I take another long drag, inhaling, sucking it down my little throat
I exhale, releasing all of my worries and problems
I watch the grey-white smoke slither out of my mouth and I know it's supposed to be death
But it represents beauty to me, it is magnificent

People tell me it's killing me on the inside, damaging my lungs that were given to me to sing
People tell me it's bad, that I'll get the big forbidden C-word
People tell me that I don't need this, that it doesn't do anything for me
People tell me I'm trying to conform, but it's rather disgusting

Except I don't think they understand
I don't think they understand the undeniable truth of this

That I would rather hurt myself on the inside
Than hurt myself on the outside