In a Haze I Came Here

In a haze I came here, brand new.
Fresh life. Newborn.
There was someone here, waiting for me,
arms wide open - it wasn't you. But
they tasted so sweet on a lazy
Sunday afternoon.

They glimmered away too quickly
and then - then there was you. You were
...you are
sweeter still, but only in the half-darkness of
almost sleep, only
in the remainders of dreams. Too sweet.

It's only now, when my eyes are wide open
that I know. I know
that it isn't the hands of a lover that sway my heart.
It is not the sound of a familiar voice saying
that they love me. Promising me. Needing me.
It is not the chains of relationship or the trappings of
"true love"
that make me smile.

It is the secret. The sweetness of innocent eyes
shining out from a dark place. The promise of
happiness, the kind that does not need
certainty, that thrives on
shadows and on
broken hearts. Bad dreams. On unbidden
but sweetest yet
companions.