Worthwhile

It is so complicated,
wanting things you can't have,
being patient,
sitting aside.
Giving up the chase-
is this how normal people feel?
Dying of a self-induced drought of human companionship,
as they sit aside,
waiting for the right person to come along.
Don't get me wrong,
I love my friends to death,
and would probably be terrified to commit
to anything more serious than pizza toppings.
But honestly,
some days you just get to wondering:
how would it be?
Would it be worth all you'd give up?
All the freedoms, all the spontaneity,
going out with friends,
staying up late,
meeting new people,
flushed cheeks and grasping, rushing hands,
consuming and forgotten, all
traded for for planned evenings,
spent in each other's company,
expectations and explanations;
phone calls telling where you are,
and what you're doing,
and when you'll be home.
But people keep getting together,
so there has to be something worthwhile.
Cozy evenings,
date nights,
comfort and closeness.
To know someone so fully
that they become predictable,
and yet in that predictability, containing
amiability and affection and everything you ever wanted.
Or thought you wanted.
Why is it that some people wake up one day
and change their minds?
Do people's faults collect in the trash heap of a heart,
until it's built up a mountain of refuse that can't be ignored any longer?
Or does the rose colored glass break?
Or is it just a distancing? Or becoming too comfortable?
Nothing lasts forever,
and maybe that's why I do not even wish to begin.