Baby Gets What Baby Wants

How could you stay so cold
When we were a consistent tangled mess
Of raw flesh and spit
It was so cute the way we seemed to lose ourselves
Into each other
Cute how when you said get up
No hesitation I'd stand
Also cute the way you'd press close and I'd hold
Then you'd turn around and say
"But I wish it was with somebody else."
Still vivid in my mind
The gorgeous way you'd tilt your head back
When I touched right there
Fucking beautiful the way your body moved
When I dragged my finger down your neck
Slide it down your back
And slowly moved around the edge
Of your low jeans
You'd gasp and giggle in the beautiful way you do
Then remind me with a flick of your hair and wink of your eye that "We're just doing this as friends"
Funny how my skin burned up with anticipation since nothing felt "Just as friends"
Your face would go more flushed the lower I worked down
Funny how when I'd swallow my pride mixed with the lies I'd have to tell myself to touch you,
That you loved me
That our friendship is just different from others
That after it all it wouldn't end the same,
I wished so hard
Only for disappointment to be waiting at the far corner of your mouth
With sound produced from your throat, it danced off your tongue into my head
Forever your voice left ringing
"Let me kiss you so that when I get a man I'll know what I'm doing"
I fell for you
And I fell for you
And again and again
Each time
I hated myself more
Each time you used me more
Until I hated myself so much
That when you said jump instead of asking how high
I went over the rail
Into the air
Cracked my neck on the rocks
And up stream I sailed