The Struggle

My smile has slid off my face,
It has no shine,
No brightness in my eyes,
My smile is dull and fake.

My eyes are lifeless,
Pools of a deep ocean with no end,
No smile to reach them,
My eyes are sad and lonely.

I dance around the lies I tell,
I spin around and hide,
Trying peek-a-boo is no longer,
I can only lie and dig myself deeper.

I spend day upon lifetimes,
Waiting for someone to grab my hand,
Pull my out of the whole I have dug myself into,
No one comes,
No one sees the struggle.

I never seriously contemplated,
Killing myself,
But it seems like a damn good idea now,
There is no way,
No will power for me to follow through.

I struggle with this disease,
Fake smiles and dreary eyes,
Depression at its finest,
And all at my own undoing.

I compete for happiness,
My mind battling to stay sane,
There is no fix and no cure,
Just a struggle,
That one can hope to win.