A Coat of Doubt Wrapped Around Sad, Heavy Bones

there's something heavy sinking
into my bones and pulling me
even further into the water where
i am the only one who cannot breathe.
they can inhaleexhale and walk while
i am drowning. they say that i'm wrong.

my eyes are black from fighting sleep.
things are looking pretty grim. the
sky is bruised with smoke and my eyes
burn in the light. stars dance on the tip
of your tongue and i'm torn between
watching and wanting to suffocate them
and make the world dark all over again.

you told me once that i had light inside me,
hidden away by layers and a heavy coat
of doubt. you said i could shrug it off with
you. you said i was safe. you said you loved
me, but the stars went out and i saw you
walk off with another girl so much more
than i ever was. you tell me goodbye.

you were a wolf in sheep's clothing, but
am i a sheep in a wolf's pelt? all i know is
that i am a stencil soul. i am just an outline,
not filled in, just empty, blank, nothing.
i know i have lost. i know that i cannot win
with the darkness suffocating me one breath
at a time. but you don't have to. just don't
look back, and everything will be okay.