Odd One

Even now that I sit in a room of laughter and smiles I feel like the odd one out
Because I was sent away to a room where I can only hug myself all day and the walls were white
I can still smell the sterile whispers of medications and therapy
No matter how many times people say that I'm not different or that I'm beautiful
I will always feel like the odd one out because I would never wish what I feel on anyone else
I will say that I am not suicidal, but that does not mean that I don't wish for my death
It just means that I am a stronger person and that my pride keeps me from falling off the edge.
And now the wind still sweeps the chill of fall across my bare skin and I struggle to recover
Even when I know that some secrets are hidden behind people who believe they are alive.