What the *** Even Is a Jelly Roll?

"watch her legs jiggle --
they're like a jelly roll, man!"

insert sniggers of laughter here
as they walk behind me knowing
I can hear them
tired and weary from their jokes

(I mean, I've never seen a jelly roll, let alone eaten one!)

he asks me
near abouts every day for what seems like
my whole life but really is
maybe a year
when it is I'm going to start drinking Slimfast?
and one day
I just
snap! crackle! pop! BOOM!
the shock on his face
when I say I'd rather have
jelly roll thighs every day of my life
so long as I passed second grade the first time
is infinitely more satisfying than a whole box of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies --
and if you've ever had some, you know that's saying something.

it wins me his respect
or something like it,
maybe just scares him --
whatever the reason
there is no more talk of slimfast, diets, or jelly rolls,
which is nice.

unfortunately for me,
he is not the first
nor is he the last and
since those who follow did not fail the second grade,
or any grade, for that matter,
the tactic could only be used once.

it was such a good comeback!