Hollow Scars

These mental scares passed onto me by my mother
The ones that were etched into the tissue of my heart
Spelling out lines like "you're fat" "you're nothing" "you'll always be a fuck up"

These where the words that drove me to insanity
A repeated process of self hatred
Looking forward to the final days when I commit suicide
But only do I ever find myself staring in the mirror at my distorted reflection
Of cracked skin and broken eyes
I'll look down at the gun I've been caressing so softly
It always gleams with temptation
My time
My one and only
I break down and run
I made a promise that I would end it all one day
Take away my sorrow
And sleep away my pain
Make myself less hollow
And then I'd be okay

But the hollowness never left
My insides stained black
Rotten love was an awful stench
It was the perfume I wore unproudly
I hated who I was
Maybe it was because of you
And your words
That stung like acid burns

The heart I had left
Beat against these empty walls
A broken rhythm
A hollow beat
But
When you came near
My heat skipped a beat
And pounded against my walls
Leaving hair line cracks
I I wanted to let you in....
But
But I couldn't
I could let you love a fuck up like me...