Oxy

Have you ever felt so low, so down, so far gone
That you had to desperately search for something to pick you up again?
Have you ever felt a sadness hollowing you to your very core
A sadness that you had to at least numb?

Have you ever felt something so intense inside of you that you just want to rip out with your bare Hands?
Have you ever felt something so disgusting that intruded on your own being that you've just wished To be gone?

You begin to pop these magical white circles and promise yourself that these, these small little Things, will make everything better
And they do
But only for a couple of hours

Until it comes to an abrupt stop
Because this isn't a blunt, this is the real deal
This is to ease your pain, not to have a good time
So it doesn't fade, it disappears

And you know, oh, you fucking know how bad it is when it disappears
You know how much it hurts, you know how much pain slams into you
Into your heart, like a thousand needles
Your eyes well up again, and you cry for a couple more hours

You feel the need to curl up into a ball because you can't control your sobs
Because she promised, she fucking made a promise
And, she swore to me that she never breaks those promises
Yet she did, and she left you there feeling hopeless

And then you have to go in the next day, to work, to school
With this big, gaping hole in your chest
And this wound, this open wound, it hurts like a motherfucker
But you just convince yourself that's the word, and you smile again

But you still go home, and dope yourself up
You stumble around your house in search of comfort
You experiment with things you would normally use with caution without a care in the world
You just want to fade, you want to get out of your own mind for a while

You feel like you could fly
And hey,
Maybe, just maybe, in this spectacular high,
You'll jump off the roof, and spectacularly die.