For The Land You Walk On

you can’t be proud of what you’ve achieved
or the lives you helped to save last month
yeah, even if you helped the enemy by mistake
and lost a friend or a brother to them
the outsiders will always judge you
they’ll call you names and curse you
tear you down and oppress you
you’ll forever have that tag glued to your forehead:
killer, murderer, monster, abomination

because you shot down some poor civilian
some poor civilian that hid a knife behind his back
and explosives under his shirt
but no one saw when they preferred putting a child in front of them
and you preferred giving a child your bulletproof vest and step in front
no one cared when you picked up that old man
and took him to safety
even though he’d rather see you six feet under
and would love to spit on your grave
because you were taught to respect the elders
and the value of someone’s life
while they teach their offspring nothing but hate
and put a gun in their hands when they reach the age of ten
And when that old man understood you’d never hurt him
He cried himself to sleep for he had been living a lie
Now he could see how his government that was forced on him
Had lied and cheated him,
Oppressed and killed his own people
For the so called greater good

no one sees the good in you as long as you wear that green uniform
because that’s what the media says
Because there always has to be a scapegoat to despise
And it will always be you, because you’re easy to blame
You’ll never fight back, you were taught politeness
So you suffer in silence as you sacrifice your body and sanity
For the land you walk on, for the land your people walk on
For the safety of your family and friends,
Even for the safety of that classmate that mocked you in school

And sometimes you wonder if it’s even worth the pain
as you lay on that stone hard so called bed that stiffens your back
but that back ache is nothing compared to the scratched that cover your body
and those scratches will never compare to the scars in your heart
and sometimes it seems so surreal to you
you feel around under your pillow and come across that cold metal
that cold metal that is your rifle, the one that’s always there no matter what
you close your eyes and pretend you’re in your bed back at home
and you pretend that cold metal is the warm, loving skin
of that girl from high school you haven’t seen since graduation
you make a silent promise to marry her if you get out alive
because the thought of her keeps you going

And you smile and tell yourself it will be fine
you convince it will get better and that one day all hate will vanish
that one day they’ll love their children more than they hate you
and there will be no wars no more.

"No wars no more" you whisper and drift away into a deep sleep.